massage therapy journal

keeping you in touch.

  

But, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m no longer afraid in my own home. The stresses in my life are huge, but the minefield I used to inhabit has gone by the wayside. My kids and I are lovingly supporting one another. Friends hold me in their caring embrace. And new love has entered my life. As the saying goes—when a door closes, another one opens. In demise, there is the opportunity for reconstruction.

I know that we can’t see the redemptive side of pain while we are reeling from it, or overwhelmed with grieving—and grieve we must. We have to give ourselves the space, time and opportunity to mourn, cry, retreat and lick our wounds. But how often do we overstay our welcome in that place? How often do we see ourselves as the downtrodden victims when our situation isn’t really all that bad? If you’re anything like me, the answer is, too often. I can stay in that place longer than serves me well.

Reflect on your own life and current challenges. How do you view them? Do you allow yourself enough space for grief? Do you stay there too long? Do you look for the opportunity in loss and the gift in challenge?

Pain is relative. When we lose track of that concept, we get disconnected from the force that heals. We all need to be reminded of the notion of relativity. The fires in San Diego give me perspective. What does that for you? I’d like to suggest that for today, you take a few moments to honor your hurts, and to count your blessings. Think about the hardships you have known and the triumphs you have experienced. Then think about the difficulties faced by others you know, or reflect on the challenging times you have overcome in your own past. Do you gain a sense of perspective from this exercise? Can you find the gift in your sorrow?

Several years ago my dad lay dying of cancer. My heart was breaking. He was “my person”—my champion, support and soul mate in a very profound way. He and I were the only two in my immediate family of origin who believed in God, felt comfort in our faith tradition and shared a commitment to helping those less fortunate.

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