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by Robin Weidner
Do modesty & massage go together?
After all, most massages are performed when clients are partially or completely naked, while you knead,
apply pressure, pat or rub bare skin. Although the client is covered with a sheet or towels, those are
folded back to display the part of the body being worked on. Where does modesty fit into this equation?
One therapist put it well when she said, “When you’re working on naked bodies, there are some things you’d
better consider!” Regardless of the modality you practice (and the state of undress of your clients),
modesty brings up many important issues in massage therapy, all the way from setting boundaries in mind,
body and professional life, to taking into account the emotional and cultural background of clients.
A good starting place might be looking at our own biases about modesty. Do we wonder whether it’s just a
little prudish to consider modesty? Is an impediment that needs to be removed in order for therapists to
do good work? And with massage becoming more mainstream, and more people walking into your office with
some idea of what will happen, isn’t it the client’s responsibility to bring up and stand up for his or
her own definition of modesty? Or is it?
Framing the Discussion
A little walk through history might help us see why the link between modesty and massage isn’t always so
obvious. Historically, the term has often been used to describe a woman’s sexual virtue. You may have heard
of the “modesty piece”—a lace inset in a dress or blouse that covered a woman’s bosom. Some of the synonyms
for modesty are virtues we don’t always embrace in our Western culture as positive, including shyness,
propriety or being reserved in speech or manner.
When you connect that connotation and how far the industry has come in moving beyond the days where
“massage parlors,” it’s easy to see how modesty can fall off the radar. Yet, there are many compelling reasons
to revisit modesty and massage.
Living and working in a culturally diverse setting means that clients don’t always share the same
perspective as therapists. And, working in what has been called a “sexually charged” society means that
honoring another’s physical and emotional boundaries (and keeping your personal boundaries intact) takes
thought and preparation.
Perhaps we can gain more clarity if we go all the way back to the Latin root of modesty, modestus, which means
“keeping within measure.” Modestus hints at one of the most important issues in modesty and massage — setting
proper boundaries.
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American Massage Therapy Association®
