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Improving
the quality of life for
those people with special needs is very important, especially if one of
those is a loved one. For many years now, I have used compassionate
touch as a means of reaching out to such people, whether they be
infants, children or adults.
 Massage, if taught correctly, can empower the primary caregiver and can
show families how to use touch for healing. Special massage techniques
can provide a sensory integration activity that enhances communication
and promotes healing for children with special needs, as well as for
adults. I want to take this opportunity to share with MTJ readers how
they can incorporate some of the techniques I have successfully used in
my program, which I call Touch to T.E.A.C.H.®, so that they, too, can
experience the special joy and satisfaction of using touch to “break
through” and make a difference in the lives of others.
With proper training, primary and professional caregivers can learn how
massage plays an important role in a child’s growth and development. Two
years ago, I was able to work with several families and their children
through a grant awarded to Monica Sanders, a speech pathologist for
Easter Seals Rehabilitation in Florence, Alabama. That’s where I met
Kayla. Kayla was 4 years old with cerebral palsy, had multiple delays,
and was tactile resistant. She was not walking or talking, nor did she
respond when spoken to. As I interviewed her mother, Kayla rolled on the
floor, spinning on her back and kicking her feet.
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| Massage
should be fun. Farlow and Jared connect and communicate through
touch (top left). Jared receives a gentle stretch while his
mother, Shelly, strokes his arm and side stimulating lymphatic
flow and circulation (bottom left). Neck and shoulder massage
supports head control (bottom right). |
While she continued to spin and roll on the floor, I experimented with
strokes that Kayla would tolerate. I rolled and crawled with her! When
Kayla rested for a few seconds near her mother, I placed my hand on her
back using firm, rhythmical compression and saying, “Kayla’s back. Feel
your back? Up and down on Kayla’s back.”
She responded positively by leaning into my hand, and briefly looking at
my face. I placed the mother’s hand on her daughter’s back and guided
the pressure and the stroking with my own hand as I sang a song. We made
large circles on Kayla’s back. Kayla paused, looked at her mother, and
once again she responded by leaning into her mother’s touch. Kayla’s
mother began using massage daily. She introduced massage after Kayla’s
bath, and was thrilled with the results. “She lets me massage her legs,
her back and sometimes her arms. It’s the only time I have with her when
she is still.”
Case
Example 1: Working With Youngsters
The photos from Pages 64 through 70 show author Peggy Farlow working
with a young client, 9-year-old Jared Merrill, who suffers from
cerebral palsy - the result of a traumatic accident that occurred
when he was 2 years old. The photos in this sequence were
taken at the Athens-Limestone Wellness Center in Athens, Alabama.
As you will see in the photos, Jared's
mother, Shelly, is actively involved in his care, and will
eventually use many of Farlow's techniques at home. |
Massage offers an avenue of natural learning for the child. Children
learn better by “doing” rather than by simply repeating what is being
taught. The child plays an active role in the massage process, and is
not a passive recipient. When the child laughs, smiles or verbalizes in
response to the caregiver’s stroking, he or she is learning to look, to
listen, and attend to the words spoken during the massage. The increased
attending supports learning. The caregiver can massage the child’s hands
and fingers while repeating rhymes or jingles. “Hands are for clapping,
and clasping, and squeezing. Hands are for covering our face when
sneezing. Hands are for climbing, pointing and eating. Hands are for
covering our face when sneezing. Hands are for climbing, pointing and
eating. Hands are for hugging, touching and feeling.”
The repetition of words encourages language development. The hand and
arm massage provides sensory stimulation for learning. When massage is
used with speech and language stimulation, the child’s looking,
listening and verbalizing is reinforced. Caregivers report that the
child is more verbal, responsive and relaxed after massage.
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| With the help of
Shelly, Farlow positions Jared in the sidelying position using
pillows and rolled towels for support. |
Face massage strengthens oral motor development supporting speech
production, feeding and eating skills. The same muscles used for eating
are used in speaking. Strong, healthy muscles in and around the mouth
and throat are needed for better sucking, chewing and swallowing. These
muscles are often weak and low tone in children with motor delays.
Occasionally, the face may be hypersensitive to touch, and the use of
massage can help to desensitize this area. The caregiver may use family
games and rhymes to help the child accept face massage. Therapy should
be fun for both caregiver and child.
Massage not only helps the child’s nervous system integrate and process
touch, it also can promote growth and development. Psychiatrist Dr.
Martha Welch observes: “Many of the milestones of development described
for babies and children are reached earlier by babies who are carried on
the mother’s body, spoken to a great deal, massaged, rocked and kept in
the parent’s bed at night. In contrast, babies who spend most of their
time in strollers, infant seats, and cribs generally reach the
milestones later.”2
Safe touch and massage stimulates the brain’s release of calming
hormones, producing a state of relaxation. The more a child is touched
and cared for, the more content the child will be. Jean Liedloff
observes that as a result of constant touch and abundant stimulation,
tribal babies are content, seldom cry, and virtually never vomit or
“spit up.”3
Massage administered by the caregiver opens the channels of
communication while increasing bonding and attachment. Massage offered
with compassion and respect reinforces the human connection.
Compassionate touch connects us to the divine that is within each of us
and is necessary for all ages.
Benefits For Infirm Older Adults
The techniques and philosophy described above can be applied to all who
suffer from illnesses and challenges, not just children. Family members
with terminal illness, depression, chronic pain, dementia, or the
debilitation of aging need to be touched with compassion. Often, during
illness, normal communication is interrupted. Nurturing touch can help
connect, communicate and console. The circle of healing expands as
family members learn to touch. Stephen Levine in A Gradual Awakening
observes that the circle is the form of nature: “In nature, all things
move in cycles. There are the seasons, day and night, life and death.
Light moves into darkness, returning to light.”4 Touching heals both the
receiver and the giver.
Often, families need to be given permission to touch a loved one who is
ill or debilitated. “Due to the fear of aging in our society, the touch
that has nurtured and comforted us as children begins to diminish in
adulthood and by our later years has dwindled for many to the merest
trickle of tenderness or affection.”1 Touch with positive
intent can help calm fears and ease pain. The caregiver can massage the
neck, shoulders, arms, and the back before the loved one receives
medical treatments, such as chemotherapy. Touch can enable the family to
connect and communicate.
Massage in the later years can help to soothe depression, lower blood
pressure and nurture the skin, as well as alleviate loneliness. Massage
can be administered while the client is in a chair or in the bed, using
pillows for support and comfort. The client may be clothed or unclothed.
It is important to keep the room and the body warm and to use more oil,
as the skin becomes drier and thinner with age. Light pressure is better
than deep. Dawn Nelson describes specific methods of touch appropriate
for the elderly in her book, From the Heart Through the Hands (Findhorn
Press, 2001).
Sometimes massage is not feasible. An alternative to massage is “holding
touch” or “above body touch.” Simply place your hands on the loved one,
holding a hand, or cradling the shoulder between your hands. If touching
the skin causes pain, you may use “above body touch.” The energetic body
is “touched” above the physical body. Place your hands about 2 inches
above the body. Think loving, healing thoughts. Visualize the white
light surrounding you and your loved one. Feel the light entering your
head and forming a beautiful, glowing ball of light in your heart.
Imagine the light flowing through your arms and your hands to your loved
one. Levine suggests, “Instead of speaking aloud, we find we can send
thoughts silently through the heart.”
He offers the following dialogue for the caregiver: “I don’t even know
how to do this, but here I am. What I’m trying to do is send love, send
care to you through my heart. I’m not trying to change you. I’m just
loving you as best I can.4
The following is a relaxing “holding touch” you can use with your
clients or teach to caregivers. Stand beside the patient while he or she
is sitting in a chair, wheelchair, or on the side of the bed. Then
follow these steps:
Clear your head of
unwanted thoughts, and think of the patient. Fill your heart with
love, and feel that love flowing through your hands. Place your hand on the
patient’s forehead and your other hand on the back of the neck. Hold this position
with soft, relaxed hands, breathing slowly and deeply, while sending
loving, positive thoughts.
If the patient is lying
down, place your right hand on his or her shoulder and your left hand on
his or her wrist or hand. (You can connect by resting your hands on any
two parts of the body.)
I find this simple touch routine connecting
and powerful.
Midwifing Death
Toward the end of both my parents’ lives, I found that touch was the
only way I was able to communicate. My father died of congestive heart
failure in 1976. He never regained consciousness after being taken to
the hospital. I knew little about healing touch at that time. However, I
stood at his side and instinctively rested my hand on his forehead and
stroked his soft, white hair. How strange this seemed to me, as I had
few memories of touches and hugs from my father. His final hours, as I
touched his face and squeezed his tired hands, are etched in my memory.
My mother had Alzheimer’s for eight years before her death. The last
three years she spent in a nursing home. In February 1996, my sister and
I brought Mother home to die. We filled the bedroom with vases of fresh
flowers, played soft music, and began the long vigil. I was so concerned
with her routine care—how to turn her, how to keep her clean, how to
moisten her mouth—that I almost forgot about compassionate touch and
massage. I placed my hands on her frail body and visualized love for her
flowing through my hands. I held her bony shoulders, feeling the taunt,
contracted muscles and warmed them with the heat from my hands. I
swabbed her mouth and sang funny songs, just as I had done with
children. I massaged her hands. I cradled her blue, swollen feet between
my palms. I placed my hands on her forehead and softly stroked her face.
I gently rocked her. I gave her permission to die.
Ninfa’s Story
Ninfa, the mother of my neighbor and best friend, Carol, discovered she
had colon cancer soon after her 70th birthday. After an operation and
several treatments, Ninfa decided to stop chemotherapy. One day she
asked me to come over and put my hands on her. I realized later that
Ninfa needed to tell me good-bye.
I sat beside her wheelchair holding her hands in mine. I massaged her
hands with her favorite lotion, stroking lightly her arms and shoulders.
I touched her swollen legs using feather-like strokes and holding touch.
I placed my palms over her feet, allowing the warmth of my hands to
penetrate as reiki (spiritually guided universal life force) flowed from
my heart through my hands.
I stood beside her, placed my hand on the back of her neck and put my
other hand on her forehead. I heard her sigh deeply and relax a bit
more. I slowly moved behind her and placed my hands lightly on her upper
chest and leaned her head against my chest. Our breathing synchronized.
Her chest moved rhythmically beneath my hands and her breathing became
easier. Her body felt as if the muscles, one by one, were letting go.
She told me that she felt waves of light and energy flowing through her
body, and that she felt peaceful.
A few weeks later, the phone rang at daybreak. Ninfa had died. Carol
told me how she helped Ninfa’s spirit leave the body by stroking and
gently compressing her mother’s body from her feet to her shoulders, and
encouraging her to let go.
Caring for a loved one who is terminally ill can be one of life’s most
stressful experiences. Relationships are turned upside down. Role
reversals for both caregiver and patient are often difficult to accept.
The changes that are forced upon both caregiver and patient are
challenging. Often, both the patient and the family are in denial. Until
the patient and family are able to face the fears and accept the
illness, it is difficult to grieve and heal. The demands, emotionally
and physically, that must be met by the caregiver are exhausting.
Professional massage therapists are available not only to provide
healing touch to families, but also to teach the caregivers about
healing touch. Once the caregiver learns to touch with love and positive
intent, the process of grieving and acceptance can begin.
•••
Peggy Jones Farlow, M.Sp.Ed., LMT, is a
massage therapist based in Athens, Alabama. For 27 years she was a
speech pathologist in public schools. She teaches primary and
professional caregivers through her program Touch to T.E.A.C.H.® Farlow
is completing her book, Healing Touch for Children with Special
Needs, as well as a home-study program. She can be contacted at:
pegfarlow@aol.com.
References
Lidell, Lucinda et al.
The Book of Massage: The Complete Step-by-Step Guide to Eastern and
Western Techniques. New York, New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc.,
1984. Welch, Martha. Holding
Time. New York, New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1988. Jordan, Alan. Touch,
Listen and Be: Creating Nonviolent People. Chattanooga, Tennessee:
Tennessee Institute of Healing Arts, 2002. Levine, Stephen. A
Gradual Awakening. New York, New York: Anchor Books, 1998.
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