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More Ways to Handle Awkward Situations
In the
massage therapy profession, there is the potential for
something awkward to happen. You’re dealing with clients
who may be in pain or have a real need to reduce stress,
and though you’re helping, these clients may feel
particularly vulnerable.
The bottom
line is that you and your clients are bound to run into
situations that leave you both feeling less than
comfortable. But there are ways to deal with these
situations that won’t jeopardize the professional
relationship you have with your clients. Here are a few
more ideas to help you through these awkward moments.
You
hear negative feedback from a client.
Use this
mantra, suggests Suzanne Scurlock-Durana: “Nothing is
really personal.” In fact, negative feedback may be an
unexpected gift.
Alana Eve
Burman, a licensed massage therapist in Boulder,
Colorado, agrees. “My first reaction is to thank the
client and then let them know I am sorry they didn’t
like the work.” You should always make the client feel
she’s been heard. “In almost any interpersonal
relationship, this can shift the dynamic,” Burman
continues.
Some of
her best client feedback has come by just paying
attention when the massage is over, explains Burman.
“I’ll ask them how they’re feeling and if they want to
schedule again—you can get a lot of information that
way,” she says.
Potential Response:
“I am so sorry this is a
problem but I am really glad you shared it with me. Can
you be a little more specific? I'd like to really
understand your needs. [Listen] We need to do
something about that. If you were in my place, how would
you solve this problem? Is there anything else on your
mind? My goal is to make you as happy as I can.”
Your
client cancels appointments at last minute, is late, or
“forgets” appointments.
This problem is a boundary
issue that needs to be addressed quickly. "We need to
educate clients from the first phone call of our
boundaries and stay with them,” says Nina McIntosh,
author of Educated Heart: Professional Boundaries for
Massage Therapists, Bodyworkers and Movement Teachers.
“For example, 'If you don't give me 24 hours notice, I
have to charge you for a cancelled session,'” she says.
And then,
follow through! “Even with this policy, clients were
surprised when I had to charge them for missed
sessions,” says McIntosh. “People are concerned about
making a client mad. But do you really want a client who
is not respectful?”
In fact,
sticking to your boundaries may increase respect. “When
clients are charged for missed appointments,” says
Burman, “they take it more seriously.”
Sometimes
other factors are at play, such as transference. Barp,
for example, had a client who consistently missed
appointments, and who was ill with the same illness as
one of Barp’s family members.
“She was
pushing my boundaries, and I was having a hard time
enforcing my policy because I felt bad for her,” says
Barp. Finally, she realized this was helping neither of
them. “I told her that I needed her to be respectful of
my time and her time,” says Barp. She told her client
she would charge her if she missed an appointment. “I
really did enjoy working with her,” she says. “I just
wasn’t clear with her from the get-go.”
Potential Response:
“You know, you've cancelled at
the last minute several times now. I know that you are
busy but when I lose an hour appointment, it costs me
money. This is beginning to strain our therapeutic
relationship. What do you think we can do? I would hate
to have to start charging you for missed appointments.
I hope we can come to an understanding, because I really
like working with you.”
A
client talks incessantly throughout the session.
The lights
are low and the music soft. The mood is perfect—and your
client won’t stop talking. What do you do? Burman says
it depends on the situation.
“Some
people will talk because they feel they need to
entertain you,” she says. “You can tell them that it’s
OK for them to relax and unwind.”
Terrie
Yardley-Nohr, author of Ethics for Massage Therapists,
recommends taking three breaths with the client and
redirecting the session back to its original intent.
Remember, new clients may be nervous, and others just
friendly, so moderate your irritation.
McIntosh
agrees. “The main consideration is whether it’s helping
the client relax, not whether it’s distracting you,” she
says. “It’s their dime. They can talk, so instead of
asking them to be quiet you might tell them to notice
how tight they are getting when they talk.”
Speaking
from experience, McIntosh says a client may simply be
unwinding by talking. “I chatter for 20 minutes, and
then they turn me over and I go to sleep,” she says.
Potential Response:
“Do you notice that when you
talk your shoulders tense up? Can I do anything to help
you relax? It's fine if you want to talk, but the
complete benefits of the massage include letting your
mind relax as well as your body.”
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American Massage Therapy Association®
